i need rain!

Guess who's back
Back again
Iggy's back
Tell a friend

And not a moment too soon. I bet most of you readers were wondering if I was ever going to return. Well, of course I'm back! How could I disappoint the hundreds of people who visit this website every day? There would be rioting.

So I'm crouched in a small shanty in the South Amazon, fighting off the urge to melt into my own clothes. The humidity here is over 100%. This basically means that unless you're a fish, or some other gilled animal, you should probably rethink buying a condo here.

The only reason I'm here myself is because I'm an animal researcher, studying a new strain of piranha that recently appeared in the Amazonian waters. The main difference between these new piranha and the other kind is that they have lasers attached to their heads.

Don't worry, I don't get it any more than you do.

What I do know is that I want to get the hell out of this country and start making some movies already. I requested leave from my research company, but they're keeping me down here. They want to explore the possibility of evolving other animals to have frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads. Things aren't looking too good on that front. Although I do have some shark specimens that seem promising.

(If you want to learn more, here's the company I work for.)

Here in the Amazon, rain isn't all that hard to come by. Unfortunately, that's not true in other certain places of the globe. If I was in a place like the United States, for example, I would be stuck in the middle of a big heat wave and I wouldn't be able to find any rain to shoot my movie. Which means I really would have to make a 50-foot rain machine by myself.

Luckily for me, I think I have some engineering friends that can help me with it.

Another side project I still need to do is to buy a couple pairs of shoes. So far I haven't been able to find what I need. I assumed they would be on sale at most shoe stores, but it turns out they aren't! ANYWHERE! So I might need to go another direction for the shoes.

F me.

Oh well. Now I have to think of something that's just as cool. Which might be hard, because these shoes would probably be the epitome of cool.

Now I need to call my former boss and ask him if he has a nice camera I can borrow. Wish me luck.